Marauder's Secret
by floss bucket
Summary: When Lily finds Sirius Black at the top of the Astronomy Tower, she learns things she'd never expected about him. Strictly platonic Sirius/Lily.


She found him at the top of the Astronomy Tower. He was lying on his back, staring up at the stars. It was a chilly night – she could feel winter coming, though it was only October. She was surprised to see him up here; she thought he'd be down in the common room with his friends. She envied them, slightly, how good friends they were. She'd lost her two best friends in the space of five years. First Petunia, then Severus. Was it too much to ask that she managed to keep a best friend as long as they had?

The boy had obviously noticed her presence and he sat up.

"Hey, Evans."

"Black" she replied. "What are you doing up here?" she didn't mean to sound rude, but it came out wrong.

"Thinking" she raised her eyebrows. "I do actually do that sometimes, you know."

Lily tilted her head to the side "What are you thinking about?"

"Stuff"

"That's very informative."

"What about you? What are you doing here?" he said, changing the topic.

"Thinking" she replied.

"About?"

"Stuff"

"Well, this is a very interesting conversation. We've managed to work out that we're both at the top of the Astronomy Tower, thinking about stuff. Very revealing." His sarcastic tone made her laugh. He was actually quite a funny person, when he wasn't being an arrogant prick. When she thought about it, all of them were funny, except Peter, who freaked her out a bit. Remus was nice, he at least wasn't arrogant, and Potter. James Potter, the most arrogant person to ever walk the halls of Hogwarts. But if you asked her directly, she couldn't deny he wasn't funny or good looking. But he was defiantly annoying. And Black was only a little bit behind, only because he didn't ask her out five times a day. He seemed a bit different up here though. More mature. Mature? Black? Those words didn't go in a sentence together. Or maybe they did? She'd never really gotten to know him, or any of them, except Remus. She knew he was funny, and the best looking guy at Hogwarts, and an arrogant prick, but she didn't really know anything about _him_.

"What are you thinking about now?" he asked.

"How do you know I'm thinking?"

"Because you were staring off into space, and you're Lily Evans. You think too much." She raised her eyebrows again. "So what were you thinking about?"

"You guys"

Now it was his turn to raise his eyebrows.

"Prongs will be happy."

"What is with those nicknames? They're pretty random."

"I'm afraid I can't tell you that one. Marauder's secret. You'll know someday though, when James finally gets you to admit you're in love with him"

She spluttered "Me? In love with Potter? I don't think so!"

"Just wait and see. He isn't actually that bad, you know"

"He's an arrogant jerk, and you're not much better"

"Me? Arrogant? Never! I'm only the best looking, smartest, most popular guy at Hogwarts!"

She glared at him until she realised he was joking. He really was insufferable.

"So, why were you up here in the first place?"

"I told you, thinking" he sobered up.

"You never told me what you were thinking about"

"Family, friends, life in general"

She tilted her head to the side. She hadn't missed the hurt look on his face when he'd mentioned his family. She'd never even thought about the fact that Sirius Black might have problems. Popular, handsome, smart Sirius Black. A quarter of one of the strongest friendships in the school. He was always smiling, or laughing. No one even considered the fact there might be something wrong.

"I ran away this summer"

That was a surprise, he'd opened up far sooner than she'd expected. What he'd told her wasn't something she would tell someone she barely knew.

He was turning away from her now, looking out over the wall.

"My family is one of the oldest pureblood families in the Wizarding World and they're obsessed with purity of blood. The whole lot of them have been in Slytherin, except for a few Ravenclaws. I'm the first Gryffindor. To them, anyone in Gryffindor is a blood traitor, if they're pureblood, or a half-blood or muggleborn. They think they're so much better. So my getting into Gryffindor didn't make things nice and happy at home. It was even worse when they found out my best friend was a Potter.

"My parents never really had a problem with using corporal punishment. If me or Reg were caught having anything to do with someone of "lesser blood" we'd get called into my father's office and he'd cane us a couple of times. It wasn't that bad though, it stopped hurting a few hours after, and we didn't disobey them much.

"Then when I went home for Christmas in first year, it was awful. They must have figured beating me stopped me getting into trouble, so it was into my father's office again. I didn't have much to eat, and every couple of days I'd be beaten again. I don't think the bruises went away until February.

"Summer was the same, but longer. In second year I refused to go home for Christmas, and paid for it that summer. They beat me, same as the year before, but my father started using some dark curses on me. Not Unforgivables, but they hurt. Third year was the same, and then fourth year, that was... it wasn't fun. My father makes potions, poisons mostly. He tested a lot of them on me. I wasn't conscious for most of the time."

"What?" screeched Lily. "Your father actually did that to you? That's... that's illegal."

Sirius just stared out over the grounds. Lily could see the tears on his face glistening in the moonlight.

"My father has never given a damn what's legal or not"

"But- you said you ran away this summer? Why not after that?"

"I went to James's when I ran away. I- I didn't want to tell him about that. I still haven't told him."

"But then... why are you telling me?" Lily was confused. She thought James and Sirius told each other everything. She never thought she'd know something about Sirius that James didn't, especially something this big.

"I don't know. You're easy to talk to. James... James over-reacts a lot"

"So what finally made you run away?"

"Cruciatus Curse" He didn't need to say anything more. Lily stepped forward and hugged him, and he turned around and hugged her back. "Thanks for listening" he murmured.

"It's okay. Do you think you could return the favour?"

Sirius looked at her strangely.

"My sister, Petunia, has got the exact opposite of your family's problem. She hates me because I can do magic. She used to be my best friend, now... now she calls me a freak" Lily had tears rolling down her own cheeks now as Sirius put his arm around her shoulders.

"Just remember something, Lily, your sister doesn't hate you. She'll realise, someday, that she does love you. Just be patient."

"Doesn't hate me?"

"She's your family. You'll lose yourself if you stop believing they love you. You just focus on the little things, like how my mother hesitated before using the Cruciatus Curse. She still has some tiny bit in her that loves me, and some days that's all I have, and all that matters."

They sat in silence for a few minutes before Sirius turned to Lily.

"You really need to give James a chance"

"Why?"

"Why not?" he replied, his usual smiling expression back on his face.

"Because he's an arrogant prick! All he cares about is himself! He's always ruffling up his hair, and he asks me out every single day! Besides, he only wants me for a fling"

"Have you ever considered that he might really like you?" asked Sirius quietly "That maybe the reason he's asked you out so much is that he actually wants to have a relationship?"

"I..."

"You didn't think of it that way?"

"I'm sorry" said Lily in a small voice.

"Apologise to James, not me. And if you don't want to go out with him, that's fine, just come up with some better reasons and explain them to him. You might find he actually listens. And as for him only caring about himself... He was the one who took me in when I ran away, and he's one of the best friends I could ever have"

Lily was ashamed. She'd never realised that James Potter might want more than a fling with her. She'd always put his reason for continuing to ask her out down to the fact he couldn't bear to have a girl who said no to him. It seemed she was wrong. And Sirius wasn't that bad when you talked to him. Maybe James would be tolerable as well.

"What are you two doing up here?" came a voice, and James Potter himself stepped out of the shadows. Sirius turned to face him.

"We were talking"

"You and Lily?"

"Yes. Is there a rule that I'm not allowed to talk to her?"

"No, but-"

"You're jealous. Of course you are. And I promise you that nothing more than talking went on up here." James nodded slowly, he obviously trusted his best friend.

"How did you know we were up here?" asked Lily. It was very strange. The Marauders always seemed to know where the others were, it was like an inbuilt radar or something. But of course, they would have no idea what a radar was.

James and Sirius just smiled at her

"Marauders' secret"


End file.
